From: UFO UpDates - Toronto <post.nul>
Date: Sun, 08 Feb 2009 08:59:13 -0500
Archived: Sun, 08 Feb 2009 08:59:13 -0500
Subject: Minneapolis Columnist's Sighting 




Source: James Lileks.Com - Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA

http://lileks.com/bleat/?p=772

Friday, Feb. 06:


Alert Shado
by James Lileks

I stepped outside at 9:38 PM Thursday night to have a small
cigar, and saw a UFO.

I should make my position clear: I've always believed in the
possibility of UFOs, but I've never believed in anyone who
believed in UFOs. I've never seen anything that constituted
anything close to proof, and never been dissuaded that there
isn't something out there. On the other hand, you can hem and
haw and qualify all you like - in the end you know where you
stand. If someone showed up tomorrow and shouted ATHEISTS, TO
THE LEFT! DEISTS AND ABOVE, TO THE RIGHT! you know where you'd
go. (If he had a gun, or a court order, that is.) Likewise the
question of life on other planets. I don't think we're alone,
but it's one of those items you file under Unknowable Things
That Are Irrelevant Until They're Not.

Life elsewhere is one issue; life that gets off the rock and
goes elsewhere is another. One of the snarky objections that
annoys me: Why would they care about us? Lowly smelly violent
apes. I don't know. Maybe they never knew they had the capacity
to appreciate beauty until they got out of their neighborhood,
and once they saw what other rocks were up to, well, they were
changed. Earth would be crack to these guys. Music. So much
music, pouring out of this green globe without effort. They
couldn't stay away.

There's not an argument against it that doesn't sound like
hubris; there's not an argument for it that doesn't sound like
wishful thinking.

Anyway: All my life I've wanted to see an unexplained light in
the sky. I would have preferred the classic hovering cigar-shape
moving at a slow rate of speed before it zipped off in another
direction, but you can't have everything. For that matter I'd
prefer the “Close Encounters” mothership appearing behind the
water tower, because that would certainly give us all something
to talk about besides the economy. Then again, probably not;
“Giant spacecraft lands, releases abductees; state weighs $1.2
million emergency bill for housing, retraining.”

SHUTUP you say. WHAT DID YOU SEE? Well, I'm used to lights
overhead, because we're under the approach to the airport. One
by one, day after day, the great planes descend over Jasperwood.
I'm used to private planes, low-slow cargo planes, hella loud
transports. The sky is always busy.

This was a bright point of light, fairly low in the sky, and it
moved from east to west in a straight line - it jiggled up and
down a bit, but it was east to west, not angled. It drew a white
line, took less than a second to travel halfway across the sky,
and vanished.

I thought: wow.

I blinked and thought again: wow.

So what was it? Meteorite? Again, straight line across, not
angled down. Plane? Too fast - unless it was very close, like
two blocks away, and turned its lights on and off. But I would
have heard it; I hear the planes sometimes before I see them. I
just don't know. If I saw it on YouTube I wouldn't believe it;
I'd think someone had waved a penlight flash, nothing more. The
telltale jiggles show it was the work of a human hand. (The
Telltale Jiggles are playing at First Avenue this weekend, by
the way.)

But it wasn't that. I know what I saw, and I know where I saw
it. Up there. Impossibly fast. Here, then there, then gone. I'd
say meteor, no prob, but it was parallel to the earth, and
that's one hell of an approach angle. I suppose the jiggle could
be explained by atmospheric light scattering, and yes, I just
sort of made that up.

What an unfulfilling experience. No answers, nothing conclusive
- just a tantalizing moment that doesn't plug into anything you
know, but winks at things you suspect. I keep looking outside,
knowing I won't see it, but wishing I could. I suppose it's like
hearing a strange chord out of nowhere - silence is never quite
the same again for a long time.

And I was worried about what I'd write for my Sunday column.

Today: 100 mysteries, and a pizza-centric entry in Friday
Fargo/Google Street views. Early meetings and other botherations
will interfere with buzz.mn, but I'm just following my
employer's priorities. See you soon, here or there.

Ever seen one yourself? As if I have to prime the comment-pump.
;)

And I cannot resist this.

---

James Lileks is a columnist for the Star-Tribune; a syndicated
political humor columnist for Newhouse News Service. He's the
author of six books, Falling Up The Stairs & Mr. Obvious,
novels; Notes Of A Nervous Man & Fresh Lies, collections. The
Gallery Of Regrettable Food was published by Random House/Crown
in the fall of 01. The next book, Interior Desecrations, came
out in 04; the next, which is still in production, will be out
in late 05. Previously he was a columnist for the St. Paul
Pioneer Press, City Pages, and the Minnesota Daily, and a talk
radio host.


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