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Re: Reasons Why Abductees Don't Post - Mortellaro

From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com>
Date: Thu, 20 Jun 2002 22:38:22 EDT
Fwd Date: Fri, 21 Jun 2002 05:17:58 -0400
Subject: Re: Reasons Why Abductees Don't Post - Mortellaro

 >From: Alfred Lehmberg <Lehmberg@snowhill.com>
 >To: UFO UpDates - Toronto <ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net>
 >Subject: Re: Reasons Why Abductees Don't Post
 >Date: Wed, 19 Jun 2002 08:19:15 -0500

 >>From: Katharina Wilson <K_Wilson@alienjigsaw.com>
 >>To: ufoupdates@virtuallystrange.net
 >>Date: Tue, 18 Jun 2002 09:24:52 -0400
 >>Subject: Reasons Why Abductees Don't Post

 >>To All:

 >>Over the past year or so I have been wanting to ask several of
 >>my abductee/experiencer friends and acquaintances why they do
 >>not post to the UFO UpDates List. Some people on this List have
 >>wondered why they don't hear from abductees more often. I
 >>thought this might be a good time to ask them.

 >>The following are the responses I received, listed in the order
 >>in which I received them.



 >>I can relate to and understand everything the people above have
 >>stated. I think all abductees can. We have all been in similar
 >>situations and have felt all of these emotions at one time or

 >>The main reason I stopped posting was because of the way certain
 >>people were behaving on the List. It seemed to me that things
 >>were being written about the personal life of an abductee that
 >>were completely unacceptable.

 >>The rule I live by is not to ever divulge information about
 >>another abductee or their experiences unless I have their
 >>express written permission to do so.

 >>The things that were written about one abductee in particular
 >>crossed the line. The fact that it came from a fellow abductee
 >>was one of the most distasteful things I have ever read on the
 >>UFO UpDates List. As Michelle stated above, abductees experience
 >>enough isolation and ridicule from the general public
 >>[especially the debunkers] - to see this type of behavior coming
 >>from one of our own is very sad and it is completely unacceptable.

 >I may resemble some of the above. I may resemble _all_ of the
 >above. I've been challenging, contrary, contentious and
 >quarrelsome, forgetting that I have always been (or tried to be)
 >consistent and conscientious in a manner that would soften those
 >things. I'm perhaps overly passionate about the subject because
 >I see it as the root cause of many, if not all, of our social,
 >cultural, and philosophical ills.

Dear Alfred:

There are very few of us who have not been contentious. Driven
by passion, conscientious by intellect and character and
dedicated to finding some semblance of absolute truth, some of
us are not found guilty of the former.

The problem arises when the contention, through debate, becomes
personal through angst. When all else fails, some of us fall
back on the child within. But the child within has learned many
tricks since. Those tricks allow the passion to become hurtful
and hateful. There's the rub, eh?

 >UFOs are perhaps too important a subject to be left to a handful
 >of men (and _too_ few women), whatever their qualification or
 >level of professionalism (in a manner similar to war being too
 >important an enterprise to be left to the general officers who
 >officiate it). This explains my tolerant attitude regarding who
 >or what might have some validity or even a shred of the truth...
 >whatever _that_ is. Unable to depend on my community to provide
 >a _quality_ mainstream, I've had to try to determine it for

Take it one step further, Alfred. When a man tells his truth,
none may nay say him. Those who do, oft perform the act with
barbed hooks. Aiming at the vitals until the victim is either
tired or too embarrassed to take it further. Take for example a
recent self proclaimed truth. Doesn't matter which, pick any
one. The first to attack should be the last to attack and the
first to defend. Alas, it does not always turn out that way.

It is up to us, the perceived abductees, to defend each other
until or if the time arises when that abductee proves to be
other than what he or she contends. Period. Therein lies

 >If I have been corrosively offensive to our very tenuous and
 >volatile abduction (or ufological) community (outside of the
 >officious authoritarian, demanding strict adherence to an
 >unsatisfactory, inadequate, and demonstrably unsuccessful
 >"party-line"), well -- I would count it among one of my more
 >deeply felt regrets.

As Poet Laureate of this List and indeed, the UFO and Abduction
Poet Laureate, you've endured much derision. However it is
obvious that what you defend so passionately deserves defense.
What you attack so viciously deserves the same. And there is no
one on this or any List who may prove that you've become an
angry man whose lust for being right precludes being a
gentleman. No one.

 >My only defense is that I am writing my conscience, sense a
 >contribution to something truly important that I can make
 >(consciousness raising if nothing else), and that I focus my
 >arguments more tightly on the ideas proposed than on the
 >individual proposing them, forgetting that individuals, of
 >needs, must pay freight for their expressions in a _real_ world.
 >No one has told me to "shut [my] pie hole" much less provided me
 >with some good rational why I should, banned me from, perhaps,
 >too prolific participation, or otherwise moderated me in any

Shut your pie hole, Lehmberg, as you require no defense. You've
been a shining example of one who comports himself to the nines.

 >Some may argue that that is symptomatic of what the "problem"
 >is, but I can attest to the fact that Errol Bruce-Knapp has not
 >taken sides, in the larger sense, on any argument in the forum,
 >and he has only ever conducted himself in a manner that befits
 >his role as a facilitator for all useful positions. Look up the
 >word "moderator" in your Funk and Wagnall's and there is very
 >likely a little picture of 'Errol' right _there_. Posting the
 >very highly critical expression I'm responding to here is just
 >the latest example of the egalitarian attitude that Knapp
 >portays and typifies. It just doesn't get any better than this
 >List, ladies and gentlebunkies...

Errol Bruce-Knapp made me wonder about a great deal, when after
baring my own private parts on the air, it became evident that
some needed more. Truth be known, I am too thin skinned and too
trusting to be in this business. It's a thing I must get over if
I am to stay on the correct path, the one I set out to be on
back in 1997. On that path lies danger. For me.

A special man, Budd Hopkins, got the truth, such as it is, out
of me. Something even medications could not do. The recall is
controlled, not led, and a most welcome weight removed from my
shoulders. In more ways than one. And so in making me wonder
about Errol, I turned on me. But _I_ did that. Pushed a tad, but
it was my life and my decision to make, not anyone else's.
Having made the decision to see Budd, I am now eternally
grateful to those who turned their backs on my words. I am more
grateful to my enemies than they could ever know. Now, they are
no longer enemies. Just misled people with an ax to grind.

 >I humbly submit that I would be listening closely to PUBLIC (and
 >private) expressions (on _this_ forum) regarding the quality of
 >_my_ contribution to this 'thing' that has captured our
 >interest, and I suggest that _others_, those evaluated as
 >especially troublesome by the community (?), would benefit in a
 >similar manner. If _my_ critic shares even uncomfortable
 >information with me in a non-punitive, intelligent manner,
 >devoid of insults and hidden axes to grind... I am _all_
 >attention. I'm likely to learn something at the minimum, and at
 >the maximum I will be efficaciously changed. I only ask that you
 >tell me any 'good', along with the enevitable 'bad' if you do...
 >this goes for everyone -- regarding anyone.

Unfortunately Alfred, there are some in this world who are not
devoid of axes to grind, hidden agendas, insults and non
punitive natures. These are the ones who cause the same
divisiveness they, in writing, abhor. There is a way to the
truth, there is a way to debate and the way is not the manner in
which some of us perform our advocacy's. On that path lies
danger as well. But not for the righteous. And who are the
righteous? Those who their advocacy's as gentlemen would. As
Lehmberg does.

Well, maybe not _all_ the time. But during those temporary
lapses one may well imagine they deserved exactly what they got.

 >I know one thing. It is our _co-operation_ that is going to get
 >to the bottom of this thing, not fractious in-fighting and
 >obligatory back-biting. We'd be better served to hang together
 >when we can, if only to preclude the despairing alternative
 >which is, of course, hanging separately. I've got my ears open,
 >along with my eyes, so I'm also open to quality expressions
 >regarding the subject of Ms. Wilson's considered post. We all
 >could be.

Indeed. However if we cannot get our researchers to cooperate,
how then can I have assumed so naively, that we can get
ourselves, the perceived abductees, to cooperate. See how silly
I was? I believed without a shadow of a doubt, a belief so
strong that I did not even consider the matter in my mind, that
the abductee would by necessity, cooperate, if not out of an
intent to act as gentlemen, then out of the need to bleed
together and give support to one the other. Instead, we treat
each other as if we were mortal enemies. That was for me, the
main point of Katarina's post.

Not acceptable. Whilst I admire Errol for allowing all to
participate in this List, even me, I do not accept venom. Nor do
I accept angst. In the past, I've been far more guilty of that
which I abhor, than Alfred could ever be. However I learn. And
in learning, I have apologized long and earnestly to those I may
have hurt. The only defense I give for my behavior is self
defense. Pride. And the heart of a Palermian as opposed to a
Lehmbergian or Torontian. (more intellectual I hear, are they)

In future, I shall learn yet another function, to point my
cursor to the place on my email which says, "Delete." In doing
so, I relinquish my right to self defense. However by now, I can
do so with the firm knowledge that it is no longer necessary.

I share my pain because I want others who suffer to know they
are not alone. And also, because I refuse to allow the abduction
community to be swayed by the false belief that the loudest
noise dictates the greatest knowledge, or that that noise
represents the honor of the abduction community. It does not.

Jim Mortellaro
Perceived abductee and not proud of it

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