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Location: UFOUpDatesList.Com > 2002 > Jun > Jun 16

Welcome Back Spieser - Some Helpful Hints

From: Kalani Hanohano <kalani_hanohano@hotmail.com>
Date: Sun, 16 Jun 2002 13:10:32 +0000
Fwd Date: Sun, 16 Jun 2002 13:35:25 -0400
Subject: Welcome Back Spieser - Some Helpful Hints

Hey, Jim Spieser,

Been wondering how you were doing. Glad you're up and kicking.
Sorry your only contact with the UFO field for the last 10 years
was UFO Magazine, but hey.....

Are you sure you want to get back into this mess? There are dead
carcasses all over this field. Thankfully, most of them haven't
been mutilated.

Let me offer these tidbits so you can catch up with what you
have missed during the last 10 years:

Good News: UFOs still being sighted.
Bad News:  Most of us older geezers are losing our sight.

Good News: Proliferation of the triangular-shaped object.
Bad News:  Some of them may be ours. No reports of Spam-shaped
            objects, although if memory serves, I may have heard
            a report or two of these out of Hawaii.

Good News: Jacques Vallee has basically removed himself from
            overt participation in the field.
Bad News:  Jacques Vallee has basically removed himself from
            overt participation in the field.

Good News: There are a lot more ufo and fortean publications
Bad News:  Can't afford Flying Saucer Review. I think they
            charge $3 million a year now. I cast a glance at
            UFO Magazine, but rarely buy it. Miss INFO Journal
            and Pursuit. But did buy the latest Sports
            Illustrated Swimsuit edition featuring Yamila. Told
            my wife that she was "unidentified" and I needed to
            "identify" this anomaly. She gave me that look.

Good News: Still a small coterie of researchers who see value
            in the earlier spewings from John Keel.
Bad News:  Keel has grown older and crankier. Last seen taking
            a ride in a Fugo balloon.

Good News: Still receiving reports of UFO occupants.
Bad News:  They seem to be getting uglier by the year. Praying
            Mantis-types, reptilian sightings and that recent
            green dwarf guy seen outside of Buenos Aires. If
            they start reporting "Predator" sightings, I'm outta
            here. What happened to those cool Orthon guys with
            hippy-hair and trippy Venusian mantras and the one
            piece suits? Now, that was disco!

Good News: Lots of new, younger researchers entering the
            ufological village.
Bad News:  Many don't have the historical ufological knowledge
            to make educated guesses. They jump to conclusions.
            They mistake their fantasies for reality. They listen
            to rap music. They watch too much TV.

Good News: Abductions continue to be reported.
Bad News:  They seem to be cutting back on anal probes,
            focussing primarily on impregnation across the nation,
            harboring emaciated hybrid children in their space day
            care centers. I wonder who's covering the costs for
            the day care and formula?

Good News: Ufologists continue to meet at symposiums, meetings
            and backyards.
Bad News:  The cost of steak, beer, wine, cheese and all the
            other attendant goodies continues to escalate,
            suggesting the downfall of such meetings in the near
            future. My prediction is for smaller backyard
            functions offering sushi, tofu and other Eastern

Good News: Ufologists continue to argue.
Bad New:   Their arguments continue to escalate the usage of
            scatalogical terms. E.B. White is turning over in his

Good News: Lots of interesting ufo photos and video images being
Bad News:  Video imaging software renders all of them

Good News: Spielberg is producing a multi-hour series on
            abductions for Sci-Fi Channel.
Bad News:  He's had a difficult time trying to grow up. Perhaps
            he'll treat this matter seriously. But if I see
            reference to any of his movies in this series, I'm
            turning to ESPN.

Good News: I'm done with my sarcasms.
Bad News:  I'm trying desperately to hold the rest of them in.

Welcome back my good man. If you're looking for peace of mind,
you're in the wrong place. If you're looking for adventure,
bring up a chair and sit at the table. You need to catch up? You
have one of the finest archives of ufological contributions

Jim, you've just re-entered The Twilight Zone.

Kalani Hanohano
Denver, Colorado

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