From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com>
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 13:12:04 EST
Fwd Date: Sat, 02 Jan 1999 00:08:48 -0500
Subject: Re: Cough, Korf, Ahem!


>To: UFO UpDates - Toronto <updates@globalserve.net>
>From: Serge Salvaille <sergesa@connectmmic.net>
>Subject: Re: UFO UpDate: Re: Cough, Korf, Ahem!
>Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1998 22:42:07 -0500

>>From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com>
>>Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1998 13:44:25 EST
>>To: updates@globalserve.net
>>Subject: Re: Cough, Korf, Ahem!

>>>Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1998 23:03:48 -0800
>>>From: Kal Korff <KalKorff@KalKorff.com>
>>>To: UFO UpDates - Toronto <updates@globalserve.net>
>>>Subject: Re: Cough, Korf, Ahem!

>>Hic! Excuse me, please.

>What did everyone expect from the KKK-BK duo, a W5 on UFOs?

>Come on everybody, we got exactly what we all supposed we were
>gonna get: a cheap show shooting in the dark - and missing the
>mark by a mile or two - with no educative intent and aimed at an
>audience with the IQ equal to half the sum of the IQs of the
>KKKBK.

>Who's expecting to find the Third Secret of Fatima in a box
>Cracker Jack?

Oh my gosh Serge!  You are a God Damned GENIUS man!  A GENIUS! I
am supposed to be creative.  It's what Dr. Gesundt PAYS me to
be!  But it took a man with (probably, I don't know you, Serge)
no experience whatever as a marketing genius to make history for
Freshly Made!

Gosh.  I should seriously consider hanging up my three Ph.D.'s
in Gorilla Marketing for missing out on that one.  What a
dimbulb I am.

Serge, you wrote...

>with no educative intent and aimed at an
>audience with the IQ equal to half the sum of the IQs of the
>KKKBK.  ...
>Who's expecting to find the Third Secret of Fatima in a box
>Cracker Jack?

Serge, you just described our market, man!  THAT's IT!!!

Dear Mr. Kal Courgh... Cork, Krofff, whatever, I love you.
What's more, I support everything you do.  You, Sir, are a
genius the likes of which I haven't seen since Fromage.

And have I got a deal for you.

I, Dr. James S. Mortellaro, Jr., Ph.D., MBA, M.O.U.S.E., Come
Loud, personally endorse your show.  In fact, you can tell your
sponsors to go stick the heads in a warm wet place.  Not only do
I endorse your show, I endorse everything you do. Dr. Gesundt's
CSUFOLRSADHFW will sponsor everything you do form now on.

In fact, I think I'll issue a press release right now.  May even
have a web site created.  Hmmm.  Lemme see. Gotta think of a
good theme. Uh, how about this.....

If you thought that Chees vendor's site was great, wait'll you
see ours!  The Kal Kropf (say, do I have that spelling
right?).... the Kal Kropf Fatima Riddle Solved Web site.
Finally revealed, the secret of Mary whatshername!

"The Mother was a Alien!"

Oh, but I am getting ahead of myself.  Write me write away, Sir.
My email address is,
FRESHWINESFOREVER-GODISGOODBUTHISMOMWASAALIEN@INEBRIATED.COM

Let's do lunch!

Dr. Morty

PS: OK, we can end this thread now.  I got what I wanted.... the
Kropf account!